How I ended up being a Sadonna

Burscough Being a laughing stock is an almost unavoidable rite of passage for first year college students. Big hair slutty make up fishnet stockings . Sadly this wasn t the case. Even the tutors called me Saddo. Not quite the image I had intended. Luxury item One velvet smoking jacket for pretentious evenings in. One beanie hat preferably with band logo see above . Luxury item One Russian military hat preferably with hammer and sickle insignia. Stick to the above and you should avoid close scrutiny by the fashion Gestapo. But if all else fails and you re still not being taken seriously just say Saddo sent you. You either love him or hate him. But whichever way you swing it is impossible to deny that wherever he appears is compulsive viewing. And it s not just here. His personal fortune is now listed as m and counting. I simply can t help myself. I know it s wrong. He s unpleasant unconquerably arrogant masochistic asadistic and enjoys nay thrives on ! watching people squirm. He s got no style and wears high waisted trousers and short sleeved leisure shirts. He s basically a tasteless charmless B word. And yet I can t get enough of him. Saturday is now X Factor day. Saturday night is Xtra Factor night. All social events are cancelled forthwith. Not that there were many but you get the idea. And my heart melts . There s only one thing for it. I m going to the next auditions. Smoking it s no no no nanny . Cigareets an whisky an wild wild women . Those were the days . It seems the persecution of smokers continues apace. First we were taxed into oblivion every Budget Day without fail. Next we were unwelcome in the workplace. Then we were barred from bars and banished from bistros . even theatres weren t allowed to have a fag on stage pun totally intended . I do feel sorry for her in many ways. But the way she reacted to this week s ruling proves in itself why it was the right decision. Then it was off to ! the tanning salon for a bit more me time . Definitely not a Mommy.
Source: http://www.belfasttelegraph.co.uk/news/opinion/article3027611.ece

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